Pre-Empting the Manosphere: Sherborne’s Timely Conference on Growing Good Men
Before Louis Theroux asked the questions, Sherborne started the conversation on the Manosphere at its annual Matrons’ Conference, bringing together pastoral staff from a wide range of schools for a full day of professional learning centred around the theme “Modern Masculinity: Pastoral Care for Tomorrow’s Men.” With boys increasingly shaped by digital culture, shifting gender norms, and online influencers, this year’s programme addressed the urgent question: How do we support boys to grow into confident, compassionate, emotionally aware young men?
What followed was an energising and insightful event: part research symposium, part reflective space, part call‑to‑action, rooted in the shared commitment to guiding boys through a rapidly evolving world.
Opening the Door to Honest Dialogue
Senior Matrons Nicola Tayler and Rachel Hiscock opened the conference by affirming a cornerstone of Sherborne’s pastoral philosophy: emotional modelling matters. When adults speak openly about feelings, they explained, they “create trust and encourage emotional expression,” setting the tone for authentic conversations throughout the day.
Their welcome underlined the value of collaboration across Prep and Senior contexts—vital for ensuring consistency in the messages boys receive as they transition through adolescence.
Inside the 2026 Manosphere
The first session examined the increasingly influential “manosphere,” a cluster of online communities that promote misogyny, hyper‑masculinity, and adversarial gender narratives. Conference materials made clear that these digital ecosystems exert genuine influence on young men and shape how they understand identity, confidence, and relationships. High-profile manosphere figures such as Andrew Tate and ‘man’ of the moment, HSTIKKYTOKKY were referenced as those whose messages present dominance, self‑surveillance, and emotional detachment as aspirational values.
For pastoral teams, understanding these influences is crucial—not to condemn boys, but to help them interpret and challenge the harmful narratives they encounter online.
Keynote Address: Why Young Men Are Struggling
Sherborne Boys’ Head of Boarding, Rhidian McGuire delivered a keynote that blended psychology, social commentary, and Sherborne’s boarding experience. He highlighted the contradictory expectations boys now face encouraged to be emotionally literate yet still judged by outdated stoic ideals. Many feel unsure which version of masculinity they are meant to inhabit.
McGuire reaffirmed the school’s mission to “empower boys to take risks and try new experiences, knowing that they will be supported no matter what”—a philosophy that both encourages challenge and validates vulnerability.
Helping Boys Feel Heard: Emotional Modelling and Strengths‑Spotting
Assistant Head Rob Le Poidevin expanded the conversation with a session exploring the pressures boys face in school settings. Drawing on research and real-life pastoral examples, he explored questions like:
- Is masculinity changing or simply misunderstood?
- Why do boys mask vulnerability with humour or bravado?
- What lies beneath perfectionism, competitiveness, or withdrawal?
He presented the PERMA(H) model of wellbeing and introduced strength‑spotting, a technique that reframes pastoral challenges by asking what strength a boy is trying to use, even if it is expressed in unhelpful ways. Pastoral case studies of “Lewis,” “Sam,” and “Max” illuminated how boys often communicate their needs indirectly, and how Matrons can intervene with attuned, strengths‑focused care.
Pastoral Strategies That Build Culture
Roundtables invited delegates to share experiences and explore practical ways to nurture healthy masculinity. Conversations focused on:
- Disentangling humour from humiliation
- Challenging the “I’m fine” emotional mask
- Encouraging courage, empathy, and respectful leadership
Participants discussed small but powerful routines—like one‑minute check‑ins, “dignity-line” humour guidelines, and structured repair processes—that collectively shape a culture of emotional safety.
A New Lens: The Manosphere in Louis Theroux’s Documentary
The conference also drew parallels with Louis Theroux’s documentary The Manosphere, which examines the real-world consequences of online male‑dominance subcultures. Theroux’s encounters with young men searching for belonging in extreme digital spaces mirror the pastoral challenges schools now face daily.
His documentary highlights boys who feel isolated, directionless, or insecure—boys who could easily be “Lewis,” “Sam,” or “Max.” The conference positioned pastoral care as a direct counterweight to these digital influences: relational, grounded, and strength-based, offering boys more stable scripts of what it means to be a man.
How the Conference Builds on Sherborne Boys’ Recent Inspection Success
This year’s conference did not stand alone, it built upon the school’s most recent ISI inspection report, which celebrated Sherborne Boys’ pastoral and boarding provision as a “significant strength” of the school. According to the report:
- “Boarders are provided with consistently thorough, proactive and responsive pastoral care that promotes an inclusive, respectful and harmonious boarding environment.”
- “Boarders thrive and develop confidence and independence in a community that values collaboration and personal identity.”
- Staff were praised for “actively promoting pupils’ wellbeing,” modelling school values, and creating an environment where boys build supportive relationships.
These findings resonate powerfully with the themes of the Matrons’ Conference. The practices highlighted during the day: strength‑spotting, emotional modelling, relational routines, and pro-active pastoral intervention, precisely reflect the qualities for which inspectors praised the school.
The conference therefore served both as a celebration of what Sherborne is already doing exceptionally well, and as a springboard for further innovation in pastoral care.
Looking Ahead: Guiding Boys With Empathy and Intent
As the conference closed, each Matron committed to one small but meaningful change they would pilot in their boarding house, a reminder that cultural transformation is built through everyday interactions.
The central message of the day echoed writer Richard Reeves’ insight:
Supporting boys does not diminish support for girls. We can think two thoughts at once. We can do two things at once.
Sherborne Boys’ 2026 Matrons’ Conference embodied this idea. By openly examining the challenges boys face, from digital radicalisation to emotional masking, and grounding pastoral care in empathy, strength, and clarity, the school continues to shape young men who are confident, kind, and capable of leading with integrity.
In a cultural moment where masculinity is often contested or caricatured, Sherborne Boys offers something rare and necessary: a thoughtful, evidence‑informed roadmap for guiding boys toward a healthier future.
