Choosing the Right Boarding School for Military Families
Choosing the right school is always important, but for military families it is a mission critical decision to get right, first time. The right environment provides the stability, care and opportunities children need to thrive, even when family life involves regular change and separation. Supporting Service families means more than simply offering good pastoral care.
Shared Values and Mutual Understanding
Schools that identify and support pupils from His Majesty’s Armed Forces (HM Forces) know what a remarkable group of young people they are. Like any parent, serving families want strong academic teaching, outstanding co-curricular opportunities and a community that brings out the best in their children. From my experience, pupils from HM Forces’ backgrounds often make the most of everything an independent school offers. They are adaptable, resourceful and full of enthusiasm.
Independent schools and the Armed Forces share a strong cultural alignment. The Royal Marine Commando values instilled in me during Young Officer Training of integrity, self-discipline and humility are echoed in the ethos of all good schools. Both institutions aim to develop character and service to others, embedding values that last a lifetime. This shared outlook helps military families feel understood and reassured that their children are being shaped in an environment that reflects the principles they also believe in.
Why Pastoral Care Comes First
When speaking with serving parents, one priority always stands out: pastoral support. A solid, full boarding community follows closely behind. Military families need to know their children will be cared for, guided and encouraged; particularly when one or both parents may be deployed for extended periods.
Frequent moves and saying goodbye to friends can be challenging. A full boarding school provides stability, continuity and belonging. With a rich weekend programme, a community that doesn’t “empty out”, and trusted adults always on hand, Service children can truly feel at home.
House staff and the makeup of a boarding House is incredibly important; the steady guidance of a Houseparent accompanied by a warm House team and the much-loved Matron are an important combination and this combined with a vertical House system offer a full family atmosphere which envelopes military children into a home from home.
Flexibility is also essential. Families cannot always control when deployments end or when rest and recuperation leave falls. Schools that can flex their usual routines to allow families to spend quality time together during these windows help to strengthen relationships and provide important emotional balance.
Supporting the Whole Family
Deployments to demanding or dangerous environments can bring understandable anxiety. The media often highlights the risks, and children may carry that worry silently. Teachers and tutors need to recognise when a pupil’s emotions are connected to these concerns and respond with sensitivity and understanding.
Communication is vital too. Good schools maintain regular contact with the parent at home and find creative ways to stay connected. Providing updates on wellbeing and showing empathy for the pressures they face, live streamed concerts, additional phone calls when needed... Parents want reassurance that “in loco parentis” really means something: that someone will notice if their child looks tired, needs encouragement, or simply just craves a bit of extra attention.
Belonging Beyond the Patch
While some families prefer schools with a high number of military pupils, many parents tell me they value a broader community. They want their children to build friendships beyond the patch, to grow up alongside peers from across the UK and overseas, gaining wider perspectives and long-term stability. A strong full-boarding culture provides that breadth, ensuring every weekend offers purposeful activity, companionship and fun.
The Sherborne Approach
As a former Royal Marines Commando, I am deeply committed to supporting military families, and Sherborne Schools Group (SSG) shares that commitment. Many of our staff have military backgrounds, particularly in pastoral roles, giving us a genuine understanding of the complexities of Service life.
We know that Service children do not seek special treatment, they simply want to be understood. Honest communication, empathy and consistency help build trust between school, pupils and parents. Our Military Families Tutor works closely with each family to ensure every child feels supported, whether a parent is away or returning from deployment.
Military children bring so much to our community. Their resilience, loyalty and sense of purpose often make them natural leaders and supportive friends. They are used to change, yet they approach it with confidence; qualities that inspire others and enrich the life of our school.
At SSG schools, we feel privileged to welcome military families into our full boarding community. We understand the sacrifices and commitments that Service life demands, and we are proud to offer a place where children can thrive, feel secure, supported and surrounded by opportunity, wherever their parents’ next posting may take them.
Written by Will Mackenzie-Green, Military Families Tutor and Senior Housemaster, Sherborne Boys
